As many of you know, I recently celebrated my 50th birthday on July 19th. I thought this blog post was timely not only because of my “milestone” birthday but also because the last few years have challenged me in ways I never imagined, good and bad.
While I certainly don’t profess to know it all, I do think I’ve learned a thing or two in the last half century 😉 Here are a few of my thoughts and ideas I’d like to share ❤️
You are tougher than you think:
I always thought I was a weak and emotional person but I’ve learned that I’m not a shrinking violet after all. I withstood the storm and I’m a better person from it. The personal challenges like my marriage ending , the loss of my Dad and many other challenges have helped me grow. Being an emotional person over the years has made me realize that it’s ok to grieve and to go through periods of sadness but that it won’t last forever and life has so much to offer and look forward to!
Don’t get too comfortable in your marriage or relationship:
This may seem like common sense but I think it’s way too easy just to start taking your partner for granted. People change, what you both want might change both of which are ok. Staying too long in a relationship where you’re not growing together is harder than just ending it, at least in my case. Almost 30 years in the same relationship and then everything changed. It’s not the end of the world.. life goes on! No regrets!
Confidence isn’t just about looks, it’s an attitude:
Over the years the yo-yo weight loss, the constant struggle worrying about aging and weight gain gets old. There is no way I could of convinced my 20 year old self that having some junk in the trunk was ok. I am happy that society finally accepts people of all shapes and sizes. I’m so done worrying about it all the time.
Value your parents:
For the lack of a better word I kind of had a shitty family life. My broken family suffered with alcoholism and mental health issues but that didn’t make us bad people. When I was younger I of course blamed my short comings on my parents. I don’t think that’s terribly uncommon. I know and understand so much more about family life being a mother myself and going through a marital breakdown. Your parents are human and they deserve some understanding and forgiveness. My relationship with my parents hasn’t always been stellar but after recently losing my Dad and seeing my mom age and face health issues I’ve decided it’s time to just let it go. Love them for who they are and be grateful.
Don’t be afraid of change:
Change used to scare the crap out of me. I think about how my job has changed in my 20 year career. The internet didn’t even exist, the job is so different than it was but not in a good or bad way, it’s just totally changed. I’ve learned to embrace technology and try not to hold on too tight to the way it used to be because I know that it it wasn’t necessarily better. Change is scary but taking it slow and taking it in small bites makes it easier to digest.
Spend time with your kids:
Obviously this is a given but I don’t just mean when they are little and need you but even when they grow up. Hang out with them, talk to them. Get to know their friends, their desires, their hopes and dreams. I feel like a lot of parents think their kids don’t need them when they grow up and that’s just not true. I need them and they need me more than ever!!
I mean really love yourself, stop torturing yourself for your mistakes. Own up to them, don’t hide them but don’t let them drag you down and cause you to hate yourself. For a long time I was scared to tell my kids about the mistakes I made. It was actually quite the opposite. It’s made us closer than ever. No one is perfect and talking about regrets and coming clean with my family , my friends and myself has been the most freeing experience of my life to be honest.
Stay young at heart:
I feel like this is so important. Having energy and enthusiasm about life is important. I love learning about new trends, music and life in general. I find it interesting to see how the world has evolved and look forward to the future. Being stuck in the past will always hold you back and keep you from growing. True story, I joined Instagram to keep track of my kids, now I’m an “accidental influencer”😂
This could mean religion or simply spirituality. Being at peace, trying to be a good person, treating others and yourself well. Self care is something I ignored for many years. This was especially true when I was a young mom, never taking time to care for myself, always putting myself last. This caused me to be unhappy, anxious and depressed. One thing I’ve come to learn is that self care isn’t selfish. It’s a gift to yourself that will allow you to give more and live your life to the fullest and also to give yourself a renewed outlook on life
Just be yourself:
I think over the years I worried too much about whether people liked me or not. I know everyone to a certain extent worries about this but it can really hold you back if you let it. I am still a sensitive person with a thin skin at times but just being myself, being civil to others is my goal. My judgement of others has been tested during Covid. I’ve made some mistakes for sure. Trying to understand why people are the way they are is exhausting and sometimes you just have to take a step back and sometimes you have to take a stand.
I’m sure I could probably go on and on but these are the things that come to mind. I feel I’ve grown as a person and hope to keep growing.
Thank you for reading ☺️